Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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