So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
