You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
