So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
