my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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