I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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