in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize