I'm going to jail i love you
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
