I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
