their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
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They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize