I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
