Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
