i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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