so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
