fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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