i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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