Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
