if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
