is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
