So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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