dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize