Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
