just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
