Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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