Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
