uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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