Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
