I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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