Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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