Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
