i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Still dying that you shit outside
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
