I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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