So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
