A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I didn't notice because vodka
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
