I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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