Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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