So drunk its hurt
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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