I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
