The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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