If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
