I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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