i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize