you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
