How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
