is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Mom said you looked used
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
