Fuck appropriateness.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
