I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
