bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
