Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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