Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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