If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
