I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
