Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
