It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
