Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
